Saturday, October 14, 2017

Reflection on 23rd birthday


K before you start judging me for blogging instead of studying, just let me clarify myself, I am technically overwhelmed with the emotion at the moment and can't focus on my work. So I need to write to pour all this - ah there's actually no word to describe the feeling. It's just so beautiful. Haha right, prolly you should continue with judging me hahaha. 

Anyway, you may already guessed the reason of this post, to share a reflection of how wonderful a week has been for me. Oh but! Before that, let me just brag on how blessed I am to be surrounded with amazing beautiful thoughful sweethearts. 

I got 2 birthday surprises this year! Yes, two! And no kidding, I was nowhere near in anticipating the celebration because I was so caught up with studies and not-sleeping so haha. I was planning on writing this blog post since last week but haha, procrastination won, so sorry guys. I am so glad, beyond thankful actually that celebration is a small one, well not one, but two. Haha. I just like the fact that I got to spend valuable moments with a few people, just enough for me to bond with them and not having to try too much. 

I love the fact no one wishes me on Facebook this year! Haha achievement unlocked! Just being weird and different here, as usual hehe. Of course, I'd prefer a long text or a direct message on Instagram but still, it's nice actually that friends took a second to write 'Happy birthday Sab' and meant it :) 

If you came to this site before, you'll notice a post on my visit to Scientology church and doing a personality test there. So one of the trait that I am lacking is of 'being appreciative'. And this week, that's one important and repetitive lesson that I am witnessing and learning from those around me. I realised that of being appreciative, one can make someone feel so free, so liberating. And those appreciation can be shown in so many ways, even in simple gestures - a hug or even a call.

"I am only 23 though, still young haha" 
'But age is just a number. Hm' 

Agreed. Though what Jake said is annoyingly wise haha. But yes, growing up a year older is nothing if my life is exactly the same like the year before. It would have been 'just a number' if nothing changed and no lesson learnt. And actually, age is just a measurement how many years we've lived, not on what we have achieved. In other words, it's a reminder that we are running out of time and have we done enough for those time we've been living? 

Though on a side note, what is time? Is the past, present or future is real? If it does not happened yet, how come you can say that it is real? 

Haha too much philosophy stuff that I don’t have the knowledge to talk much hihi, okay so back to my reflection.

It's important to actually express gratitude to people around you, the practice is actually supportive and healing. To both parties;the one that is giving as well as the one receiving the appreciation. It is detrimental to our hearts and mental health (yeah I don't have a reference on this but it's true, if you disagree, please let me know). 

So, take time to write a long handwritten message describing how much you appreciate your loved ones, give them a call, tell them you loved them, tell them how you enjoyed their company, cook them their cravings, write post-it notes in their books, send postcards, hugs them and do things that's gonna make them smile! Life would at least seen not as terrifying, knowing that you're not alone. <3 

Alhamdulillah 'alaa kulli haal. 

Update on 16th October 2017:
Additional supporting document haha :p But really, please watch this video. I shed little tears listening to his last story, probably because I did the same during my SPM, I wrote about my mum. <3

Friday, October 6, 2017

scattered thoughts

"This is not a flat white, so bland" 
My thoughts exactly after my first sip of the flat white that I bought at Fisher cart just now. Reminded of the first time someone ever called me a 'coffee-snob', yeah, Jake called me that, right after our first coffee sesh together in TTDI. I don't blame him though, *k my thoughts disappear 'cause Sha came just now haha* but I think I want to say something about my standards are a tad bit high? Or maybe not HAHA

Anyway, when I was taking the lift to level 6 just now, I was about to miss the lift because people were crossing in front of me so I quickly pressed the 'up' button again but the old guy who just came out from the lift actually stopped the lift for me. An old guy, he was pushing his trolley, I guess he works in this library but he smiled at me and only let go right after I went in.

This is a good cup pf flat white btw

This simple incident, reminds me that there are still people who are not skeptical because I wore a hijab, who are nice human beings that doesn't mind sacrificing a minute or two to make someone else day better. Can you just imagine if I miss the lift? I had to wait maybe for another couple of minutes and prolly I won't end up here because I'll be normal, my happiness scale is constant and nothing happened worth talking to or pondering upon. But that's not what happened. Someone was kind to me and my mood was elevated a bit and since this blog is one of my happy place, here I am.

"Kopi ni still tak sedap btw haha, too watery"

Repetitively, I've been telling my housemates that they only have two months to fight with me, to argue with me and to spend time with me. Can't believe that I actually have like two months left to finish my degree. Not to mentioned, attending the career fair a few days ago, freaked me out a bit and talking to dad really helped. Haha, I guess adulting is kinda scary, for me at least. Need to think about work, making money, about further studies, finding life partner etc. Then again, how interesting can life be if I were to remain like this forever? Might as well try to pursue something since the pursuit of desires are always more satisfactory than the attainment of it. 

Okay, let me get back to lab report. Write again soon!