Saturday, April 13, 2019

Have you ever look back?

Looking back 5 years ago, I would most probably be finding ways to cope with my study life and being thousands of kilometres away from home. Yes, April 2014 means that I just reached land down under for 2 months and I think easter break is around the corner that time. I still remember that two days trip to Newcastle, with friends who welcomed me when I first arrived. Experienced my first sandboarding experience there (sand ya, not snow, haven't had any experience playing snow, or at least the ones that I can remember). 

I still remember during my first semester, I had to commute for 30 to 40 minutes on a bus, which can cost me around 150 bucks (or more?) a month. Getting all tired whenever I got home and had to cook dinner when it's my turn and later on had to finished all my assignment and actually study. Can't really stayed up late 'cause I'll be extremely sleepy the following day, and I just cannot miss my bus or I might miss my class. Those 8 am classes, how I hate them so much 'cause sometimes I had to run on these stairs just to reach my class. God! It is super tiring. 

Captured on first sight of my university. (can see from how 'centered' it is)
This is the stairs that I climb almost every morning
Let's not start talking about when I got harassed a few times when walking alone. Phew, memories that I really wished to disappear. 

And those time during my first semester when I had to learn an alien language (read: coding). That was a massive disaster I tell you. I had no such talent, no such comprehension on coding (now got a bit, I think haha) so every single time I had to finish my assignment, I would be crying silently in my shower. ( HAHAHAHA I KNOW IT IS SUPER SAD BUT HAHA THAT'S THE BEST PLACE TO CRY MAN!) 

But I survived that phase. 
Fast forward next 5 years, I am here. Finished my degree (after a few episodes of drama) and now in the phase of WORKING ADULT. 

This is a longer phase, that for sure, it would not be just 4 years like my degree. It would be longer, at least 6 years, or more, I don't know. One thing I am sure of is that I am holding on to myself now. I do not want to fall into being someone who lives life mindlessly, who do things out of routine without understanding the reason(s) behind it. 

I know my coping mechanism, I know things that will work for me (this blog for instance), and I want to start doing it again. I wanted to love myself more, I wanted to build myself, and I want to make this choice, to be happy. 

Oh, and yes, the 20-year old Sabrina used to hold to this phrase, and I stumbled upon it again, can't remember from where exactly, but we choose, we choose to be happy. And choosing is not just simply a decision without action, we have to make it happen. So, go travel, if that will make you happy; have a good cup of coffee, or watch a good movie, or stayed in and write a blog, do it, whatever it takes, when you decided to be happy. 

Have good weekend guys and girls. 
Take care.

Monday, April 8, 2019

senang-susah-bersama ; easy-difficult-together

"Susah sama-sama tu memang confirm, memang akan susah sama-sama."

Unavoidable. Without a doubt, we will have to struggle together.


I paid a visit to a close friend today, on my way to office from Cyberjaya. Well, since I suck at texting so haha I randomly called her to visit her at her office! It was a good catch up I think, I hope she can feel the warmth and support I am sending to her. Anyhow, we talked a lot this morning. And those sentences came outta my mouth, not exactly that but something like that.

You have to accept that when you decided to be in a relationship/friendship with someone, you will go through hardships and trials, with them. It is without a doubt, that life would still be full of challenges, the difference is you'll have a hand to hold to.

Yes, it is super truly difficult to see someone you care, someone, you love, to be drowning in a mess that you might not, or might be responsible for. Sometimes, you feel it is unfair for you to drag them and hold them, but it is much more unfair if you decided to push them away when they really wanted to stay.

'Things is not going to be easy, but if we can stick to each other, everything is gonna be fine.' :')

People wanted to be by you, with you. You should let them, 'cause they want you to stay with them as well. It's never a one-sided thing, I want to stay, and I know truly you wanted to stay as well. So? We just to try and make things work.

'Susah senang sama-sama. Susah sama-sama memang wajibul ghunnah. Tapi susah sama-sama, bahagia pun sama-sama. Berkongsi rasa, ya, mungkin itu maksudnya.'

Makin lama, makin rasa erti persahabatan, erti suatu perhubungan. Tuhan betul sayangkan kita kan? Tengok sekeliling pun tahu dah, penuh kasih sayang <3

I pray that each of you reading this would be shower with love and strength, stronger bonds to go through whatever is coming in front of you.

Take care and goodnight.


p/s: Ya, sis dah laju menaip sebab sis finally tukar SSD laptop. 
Harddisk laptop haritu rosak rupanya, kehkeh xp