Sunday, July 23, 2017

Things I learnt from human beings called 'friends'

"I believed that friends come and go in our life. And that God allowed them into our lives to teach us something and when that's done, our responsibilities to each other are done and we say goodbyes."

I once, hold to that very tightly. I believed that a friendship will eventually end whenever the intended purpose is being realized. I honestly and shallowly think that once broken friendship can never be amended and that that is just a sign for new friendships. In essence that once I learned something from someone, it can be about patience, social skills, cooking and everything, it's done. I should no longer put so many efforts in maintaining the friendship because, just because I guess. 

Those are no longer what I hold onto though. I am learning more and more about the art of being a good friend, which requires a ton of efforts from myself, an awkward-conflicting-human being. To those who knew me well, I am not a person who express my emotions or feelings by speaking them to you. I like to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself, or I'll write. That's why sometimes people misunderstood my actions I guess, especially when they didn't know me enough. And this attitude is not normal in nowadays relationships/friendships. But I told myself, I'll try to keep up. 

Sending off a friend last night, made me reflect on a lot of things. This girl has taught me a lot of things. And she's still here in my life and I still got to call her whenever I needed a talk. Her compassion for others are limitless and beyond my limited capacity to follow, but she still teaching me that, without intention I guess. And I am glad. You know that feeling when someone is kind to you and you felt compelled to give something in return? Well, this girl, she doesn’t give me that vibe and I have absolutely no idea how she does that. Probably that's one of the things I am still learning from her. Amazing how humble people can show us a lot of positive attitudes right?

Another friend repeatedly reminds me to be grateful of people I am surrounded with. She once told me, "It a good feeling right? Knowing that people love being around with us and they keep wanting to go out with us." Those words affected more than I can ever imagine. Since I've been complaining that I am tired of hanging out with my friends and kept blaming my introvert side while it is just my ungrateful-self that does not want to push myself more for others. This lady little did she knew is that I look up to her. If I were to list the things I learned from her specifically, I'm gonna have to dedicate a very long post on it. So yeah, I hope you can pray the best for her.

Oh here's another. I've made a new friend last April. This is a well, unexpected friendship stumbled upon Instagram and blogs? Haha but anyway, even though in only a few months, he already taught me something big, something foreign for myself. He told me repeatedly not to have expectations in life. He reminded me, I don’t know if he realized this, but he did remind me the importance not to beat myself too much when things do not go to plan. To lower my expectations and that'll make me a happier person :) I guessed that this is one of the way God teaching me on how to be content with life. 

Friends walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge 
There are so many indescribable feelings that I get from each person I bumped into, unimaginable lessons I obtained just being in the presence of these people and so much, so many things, that sometimes are overwhelming but alhamdulillah, it is all in a good way.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Happy birthday Dad :D

Ada satu tahun tu, aku tak ingat pergi jalan mana tapi masa tu dalam kereta. Abah macam biasa, akan selalu bertanya soalan-soalan random dekat kiteorang adik-beradik. Selalu kena soalan English grammar dengan Abah, pastu semua pass pass nak jawab soalan, haha kelakar. Takpun Abah akan start dengan lawak hambar yang tak kelakar langsung sampai siap offer duit dekat siapa yang gelak dekat jokes dia. HAHA Tapi banyaklah benda Abah ajar dalam kereta yang aku ingat sampai sekarang, salah satunya, dia pernah tanya soalan ni;

"Okay let say Along ada courier service company." 
'Courier tu apa?' 
"Courier tu servis hantar barang tu. Yang mcm PosLaju apa semua tu" 
'Ohhhhh, okay, so lepas tu apa?' 
"So, syarikat Along punya motto nak sampaikan barang on time. So Along ada dua pilihan. Pilihan pertama, bawak kereta ikut speed limit tapi lambat sampai, so macam lambat tapi selamat. Lepas tu, Aong ada pilihan kedua bawak kereta laju betul supaya boleh sampai on time tapi possibility untuk accident tinggi. So kalau Along CEO company tu, Along nak pilihan yang mana satu?"

At that instant, I still remembered how I was unsure how to answer this. But because in my head it's important to get the job done regardless of the situation, so I answered; 

'Pilihan kedua kot Abah. Asalkan sampai on time lah kan, sebab tu motto company Along. Lagipun bukan selalu sangat kan orang accident.' 

God, how short minded I am at that age, I hope I changed the way I think now. Fuh 

"Mana boleh macam tu Along. Keselamatan tu penting. Pilihan pertama lah lebih baik. Selamat, walaupun lambat. Nyawa manusia tu lagi penting daripada sampaikan barang. Along kena faham tu. Banyak benda yang Along kena fikir, bukan setakat kejar kerja tu je. Kena fikir saman lagi and macam-macam lah……………."

Okay, sebenarnya ayat-ayat kat atas tu takdelah tepat macam yang berlaku, aku sure yang explanation Abah panjang lagi tapi intipati perbualannya macam tu lah. Jujur, masa tu aku tak faham sangat apa yang Abah nak sampaikan, sebab come on, how bad can it be kalau bawak laju? Maybelah a few accidents tapi that's about it kot. Lagi bagus daripada syarikat rugi besar. Cuma makin aku membesar ni, makin aku memahami makna soalan Abah haritu. Bila dah besar macam ni, bila kena buat keputusan besar, yang kadang-kadang melibatkan orang lain, aku nampak kepentingannya untuk berfikir secara menyeluruh. It's not only about doing it, the way we do it matters too. 

I am glad to have you Abah. You were hard on me when I was little and I realized now that I needed those treatments, it makes who I am today. Not really proud of who I am, but content. Thank you for lending me your hands when I was drowning in the mess I created myself, thank you for still having faith in me when I think no one else does, thank you for not teaching me to live luxuriously, thank you for bringing me up with the idea that I have to earn things in life and things don't just come easy and thank you thank you so much for allowing me to grow to who I am today <3 

Selamat ulang tahun Abah. <3 Semoga Abah terus diberkati Allah dan dimurahkan rezeki. Semoga kesihatan Abah bertambah baik dan urusan Abah dipermudahkan. I'll see you soon InshaAllah, gonna be that engineer-daughter and marry a good guy! AHA! :p