Saturday, April 13, 2019

Have you ever look back?

Looking back 5 years ago, I would most probably be finding ways to cope with my study life and being thousands of kilometres away from home. Yes, April 2014 means that I just reached land down under for 2 months and I think easter break is around the corner that time. I still remember that two days trip to Newcastle, with friends who welcomed me when I first arrived. Experienced my first sandboarding experience there (sand ya, not snow, haven't had any experience playing snow, or at least the ones that I can remember). 

I still remember during my first semester, I had to commute for 30 to 40 minutes on a bus, which can cost me around 150 bucks (or more?) a month. Getting all tired whenever I got home and had to cook dinner when it's my turn and later on had to finished all my assignment and actually study. Can't really stayed up late 'cause I'll be extremely sleepy the following day, and I just cannot miss my bus or I might miss my class. Those 8 am classes, how I hate them so much 'cause sometimes I had to run on these stairs just to reach my class. God! It is super tiring. 

Captured on first sight of my university. (can see from how 'centered' it is)
This is the stairs that I climb almost every morning
Let's not start talking about when I got harassed a few times when walking alone. Phew, memories that I really wished to disappear. 

And those time during my first semester when I had to learn an alien language (read: coding). That was a massive disaster I tell you. I had no such talent, no such comprehension on coding (now got a bit, I think haha) so every single time I had to finish my assignment, I would be crying silently in my shower. ( HAHAHAHA I KNOW IT IS SUPER SAD BUT HAHA THAT'S THE BEST PLACE TO CRY MAN!) 

But I survived that phase. 
Fast forward next 5 years, I am here. Finished my degree (after a few episodes of drama) and now in the phase of WORKING ADULT. 

This is a longer phase, that for sure, it would not be just 4 years like my degree. It would be longer, at least 6 years, or more, I don't know. One thing I am sure of is that I am holding on to myself now. I do not want to fall into being someone who lives life mindlessly, who do things out of routine without understanding the reason(s) behind it. 

I know my coping mechanism, I know things that will work for me (this blog for instance), and I want to start doing it again. I wanted to love myself more, I wanted to build myself, and I want to make this choice, to be happy. 

Oh, and yes, the 20-year old Sabrina used to hold to this phrase, and I stumbled upon it again, can't remember from where exactly, but we choose, we choose to be happy. And choosing is not just simply a decision without action, we have to make it happen. So, go travel, if that will make you happy; have a good cup of coffee, or watch a good movie, or stayed in and write a blog, do it, whatever it takes, when you decided to be happy. 

Have good weekend guys and girls. 
Take care.

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