Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Something on Wednesday afternoon

Remember my previous post, An evening advice ? 

I want to add to it. I mentioned about how we need to treat others at least they way we wanted others to treat us. However, I forgot to remind that doing that, you should never instill any hope or expectations in you because you'll get disappointed at one point. Were you to treat others nicely, you should never expect the same kindness from them. 

I've been thinking, no, more like comforting myself that other people don't think like me, they don't have the same common sense as I do, maybe what common to them isn't common to me. For example, it is neutral for me to replace the plastic bag in the trash after I take out the trash to throw them but it might not be as neutral for some people, or it is relevant to me to fill up the jug with water if there aren't any boiled water left but not to others. These are just some examples, there are so many more that happened in our daily life actually.

Having said that all these situations are normal and relevant to me, it might not be as relevant to some people and I cannot blame them. We are not from the same background, all of us are different, our views on certain things, how we are educated, how we are not, how shallow or open minded we are, all these matters and even some more. We have to painstakingly remind ourselves that other people are not us. We will never be able to make sense their actions. But we have to try to, sometimes.

You'll have to learn to forgive others when they make mistakes, when they hurt you in the most unimaginable way to them, the way when they didn't mean to at the first place. 

I remembered, a friend told me that I should not be too hard on myself. Then, the exact friend told me not to cry when I had some issues and can't pull myself together. I was confused, tbh, how could I be not too hard on myself and at the same time, avoid crying when crying helps me a little bit? I am not complaining, I am just sharing personal experience. I knew well enough that my friend was trying to give the best support and advice to me. That friend was giving me different advice on different situations, which was the conclusion I can get to when my mind was back at ease, Alhamdulillah. 

The reason why I am sharing this piece of story is that I realized that I should never expect a perfect response from anyone. I am not blaming my friend of anything at all, my friend is not at fault. I just thought that my friend can't understand what I feel because I am myself, my friend is my friend. We'll never be the same because we are different person. So when the response to the problems is not the same, that's just the reality and I have to eat that up. So mental note that I made? Not to idealize a response when I am telling something to somebody.

Back to the main point, we should not expect anything, we should always try not to expect from anyone. There'll always be frustrations, failures, difficulties but that what makes our life more colourful. But if you want to have a simpler and happier life, take my advice,  reduce expectations and try as best to forgive others, it'll be a good benefit for both you and them, for all of us, if God wills.

this is just my #notetoself actually. If you can benefit from it, then All praise to Allah, if not, I am sorry. And if you would to give me some advice, I am at open hearts to receive them, InshaAllah :)

Have a good day,
and take care.

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